I do the best I can. Sometimes that doesn't add up to a hill of beans. Other days, it's a feat worth admiring. I've watched my compass turn ninety degrees left, then one hundred eighty right. How much did I sleep? What did I eat? Am I hydrated? How is my mental health? What's my stress level? Who's in my corner? My circle? My bed? Do I like my job? How much am I working? How's my relationship with my daughter, my sister, my mother, my father, my brother? How is my daughter? H

Some of my earliest memories as a child weren't about toys or cartoons. They were about longing. I remember desperately wanting to speak with Jesus. I wanted to see beyond what everyone else could see. I wanted to communicate with the unseen world, to experience something sacred, something deeper than everyday life. Looking back now, I realize I wasn't just searching for God. I was searching for connection. Not casual conversation. Not friendships. Not belonging to a group. I

I have been lucky. For almost three years, I have not lived inside intense stress. The kind that lives in your muscles, your gut, your jaw. The kind that never really lets you rest. This past week reminded me why personal boundaries are not optional. I recently started a job in child welfare. I was just handed my caseload about two weeks ago. The job description and workload are realistically enough for two full‑time people. There is no way to do what is expected on each cas

For most of my life, I was chasing a high. Not just drugs, everything. Love. Attention. Praise. Success. Money. Recognition. Men. Anything that could momentarily lift me out of myself. Underneath it all was a quiet, insatiable void. A black hole I didn’t know how to name, only how to feed. Like so many people, I believed something outside of me would finally make me feel whole. So I kept reaching. And the more I reached, the emptier I felt. I filled the void with all the wro

The Honest Truth If I’m being honest, I love how different substances make me feel. I love a solid alcohol buzz. It’s relaxing. I’m social, loose, free. I love marijuana, it makes me connect with trees like they’re my long-lost friends, unlocks creative portals I didn’t know existed, and drops me into spiritual realizations I can’t always access stone-cold sober. I love cocaine. It’s a rush of adrenaline, I become Chatty Cathy on steroids, and I'm ready for anything! I love m

I spend a lot of time these days in reflection. It helps me gain clarity and make sense of things. Before, I was just living, not paying much mind to what was happening around me or inside of me. What a mistake that was . I’ll chalk it up to a necessary experience that landed me here. Not that I’m living high on the hog these days, but the depth of spirit I’ve cultivated makes up for any material wealth I lack. The lessons I learned from living unconsciously led to my libera

Forgiving myself for falling into substance abuse in motherhood has been one of the hardest parts of my recovery journey. The truth is, I...

I’ve struggled with depression and shame for as long as I can remember. That doesn’t mean I’ve lived in a deep depression every day of my...

For years, I thought sobriety was the answer. And for a while, it was. I tried to do everything “right”, I went to meetings, I kept busy,...

If I’m being completely honest, I’m not “happy.” I don’t even know if I’ve ever been happy. I’ve had good moments, bursting at the seams...

For years, I could tell you " everything" about what was going on with me. I thought I understood my trauma, my mental health, and the...

When people hear “substance abuse,” they often picture a stereotype, someone who’s hit rock bottom, someone unrecognizable. But the truth...

We all like to think we’ve come to our beliefs consciously. That we know who we are, what we stand for, and why we live the way we do....

There’s a deep, gut-wrenching humility that comes when you finally admit to yourself that the life you've built is no longer working. I...

In the latest legislative push, the proposed bill H.R. 1 introduces sweeping changes to the American budget—most notably, nearly $793...

A personal story of alternative recovery from substance abuse, exploring harm reduction, self-compassion, and healing the root causes of addiction without shame or fear.

There are times when my mind becomes so loud, so relentless, that I can barely tolerate being in my own body. It feels like pressure...

When you're on a path of healing , it’s easy to focus on what’s been done to you. The pain. The betrayals. The disappointments in...

At its core, addiction is not just a battle with a substance or behavior—it is a disconnection from self. When we fall into addiction, we...

For most of my life, I held on tightly to relationships—not because they were good for me, but because I was terrified to let them go....